


Through the Mirror

by Queenoftresspades



Category: Original Work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-23
Updated: 2019-07-23
Packaged: 2020-07-11 17:16:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19931650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queenoftresspades/pseuds/Queenoftresspades
Summary: Broken. Shattered glass. That seemed to describe my family's relationship. We were a model family. That is if you didn't look into our mirror.





	Through the Mirror

My family was broken, shattered. I like to think we were the poster family for dysfunction. It is my personal belief that we could've all been declared insane. Most of the events that transpired were improbable. Sometimes, I question the validity of occurrences. I often wondered if it had all been a dream. Then, I look around me and realize, it was the terrible reality we were cursed with.

Our story begins with a sad truth that some have the unfortunate privilege of sharing. Of course, considering the events that transpired in the years following, it might have been for the better. My twin brother and I spent the first six years of our childhood without our father. We lived with our mother -who often worked herself to the bone as an interior designer- and our grandfather, her father. He was a kindly old man. He was perhaps the only person in our family with an iota of common sense and sanity. I adored him.

At the time, Rex and I hadn't the slightest idea of who our father was; Mom wouldn't tell us. The few times we did ask, we received mixed responses. If she was in a good mood, she'd flash a kind smile and answer, "I'll tell you about him if he ever comes home. If he doesn't, I'll tell you when you're older."

If she was feeling particularly snappy that day, she'd answer with a rather sardonic snort, "You don't need to know about him. He's not worth mentioning." It usually prompted an immediate apology and hugs. "I'm sorry for snapping at you two. I just miss him. If it weren't such a sore subject, I'd tell you. You deserve to know, but I don't want to ruin you just yet."

She always ended it with a kiss on the cheek and smile. She'd walk away muttering, "I don't want to ruin you, but I'm afraid I already have."

We eavesdropped often. Grandpa almost always caught us. He would send us on our way with a gentle scolding and a small laugh. The one time he didn't catch us, we listened in on a conversation he was having with Mom. She was in hysterics. He took pity on her and tried to comfort her.

"I can't do it, Daddy. I just can't. My poor babies shouldn't have to live without a father. It's all my fault. If I hadn't left him out in the rain, maybe things would be different."

He placed a hand on her shoulder, a comforting expression cast upon his features. Even our six-year-old brains understood what that look meant. He knew she was right, but he couldn't stand seeing her so disheartened. "It was twelve years ago, Genevieve. There was no way you could've known this would happen."

"I was an awful person back then. I left him out in the rain, Dad! He got sick! Do you know that he still can't go out in the rain? He shivers if he hears the word! At least, he did when we last saw each other. This isn't the first time he's left. I wish he had left me then. I wish I hadn't done it. Maybe…maybe we'd be happy together. No, we would be happy together."

"Genna..." The old man spoke, trying to get her attention. He knew we were standing outside, listening to everything our mother had failed to tell us. She never noticed.

"The worst part is, I've brought our kids into this. They deserve a stable home, a childhood, a father. I know you said you'd be a father figure, but nothing can replace their biological father. I can't tell them much about him. They'd want to know more and I can't tell them what I did to him. How would you even tell two six-year olds that their father took such a dangerous mission and disappeared because he wanted to get away from his horrid excuse for a wife? How do you explain to them that he reached that point because I abused him?" Here, she paused. "It only took a year to break him and I regret every second of it. He'll probably never recover. The fact that he left his kids, children whom he loved more than anything in this world, just to get away from me...it's unspeakable. I have no right to even complain. It's all my fault.

"Genna," He said again, more as a warning. She was treading on thin ice. We were brilliant and he knew it. Even if a little of it went over our heads, we'd still comprehend enough to know how bad things were.

My mother was no fool. Abusive, yes. Remorseful, definitely. Crazy, absolutely. But, she was no fool. I truly believe she knew we were there. She just wanted to finally relate all the things she couldn't tell us directly. That, was what made her a fool.

What followed was a statement that we both resented for a long time. All the regret she had no right to possess was contained in one statement. "Sometimes…sometimes I consider leaving. They would be better off without me. That wouldn't be fair to you or to them though. I've been enough of a wretch already. At least we can go on pretending that everything is fine. That I wasn't an awful person. I can't shirk my responsibility as a mother."

He said nothing in response, choosing to hug her instead. He soothingly rubbed her back as she sobbed. We had learned everything by being places she didn't want us to be. Imagine her surprise when she saw her adorable twins standing outside the door. Or, was it relief? I'll never know. She never told us. She did sit us down that night and explain the truth about our father's absence. I remember the look on Rex's face as one of singular neutrality. She understood and didn't press on.

It was three years later that met our father for the first time. The other children had been bullying us for years about our missing father. They came up will an array of guesses as to why he wasn't around. None of them were memorable. Even their parents ridiculed us. They weren't memorable either, just people sticking their noses where they didn't belong. We never told Mom. We felt it was our burden. She had enough demons to suffer through anyways.

Mom was a rare example. She was an abuser who had a complete change of heart. She was no longer that crazy, regretful, sorrowed woman. She worked hard to become someone we could be proud of. She had her demons, true. There were days that she relived the torment she had inflicted on our absent father. She went through therapy, anger management. All to become the wife our father deserved and the mother she needed to be. She was pleasant, loving, kind, and considerate. I almost hate to say it, but it wasn't enough. It would never be enough.

The day we met our father, we hadn't expected it. It was a cold afternoon in December. Mom had dropped us off at school in a hurry. She had this vacant feel about her. She was distracted, almost to a fault. We hadn't the slightest idea of what was going on until around one that afternoon. She picked us up at around one that afternoon. That never happened. She was always so busy that if we ever left early, it was because Grandpa came.

She took us to a place that neither of us had ever seen before. We later found out we weren't supposed to be there, but Mom had never been one for following rules. She strode inside and had us stand behind her, out of sight. She wouldn't explain why, much to my confusion and Rex's chagrin. He followed her orders out of respect for her and the lengths she had gone through to change.

She walked up to a man who looked like my brother and me. The same black hair, facial structure, and air of confidence. She spoke calmly, pleadingly, "Please, come home, Alexander."

He winced and responded, "I've been gone for so long, Genna. I'm not sure I should."

I later learned that what he really wanted to say was, "I don't want to come home and be stuck with you every day. I left for a reason, Genevieve." For the sake of appearances, he refrained.

She chuckled bitterly and repeated, with more force than before. "Come home, Alexander. Your children need a father. They really want to get to know you. They deserve a father." I could hear the pain in her voice. Pride and a sense of duty were the only restraints she had from the tears that threatened to fall.

She stepped aside and revealed a set of twins. One with eyes filled with rage and another whose eyes were filled with wonder. This man was our father? The man our mother had abused eighteen years before? It didn't matter. Rex and I ran to him and hugged him, tears filling our eyes. He looked down at us with wide eyes and asked, "Genna, are they...?"

She nodded. That was all the confirmation I needed. "Daddy?!" I squealed and hugged him tighter. He returned the hug with a joy only a father could have. That was one of the best days of my life. If only I had known of the tragedies that were in store for us.

The first predicament occurred a few months after Dad came home. He had recently started working for some unknown agency finding the work he had previously done was too much for him.

He took Rex and I to work with him every day; it was summer vacation and Mom was out of town. It would've been easy to let Grandpa babysit us. That's what Mom would have preferred. Which is why he wouldn't allow it.

Dad lived for pissing Mom off. He was wary of her, though he loved her...in some. It was some odd form of love-hate relationship. He had learned to love her, to trust her to some extent. Never completely.

My mother was my favorite person. After all, I knew her better than my father. I talked to her every night before I went to sleep, either by phone or in person. Dad didn't understand it. He couldn't figure out why I would want to talk to her. He couldn't understand the importance of a girl's bond with her mom.

Before she left, I promised I'd call her at least once a day. The moment she left, he hid all of the house phones and locked his phone. He didn't want her to know anything that went on while she was away. It was his way of exacting revenge on her. I didn't think to tell him why I wanted the phone. My only goal was finding a way to talk to Mom, a grave mistake that permanently soured our relationship.

That was the last time he ever took me to work with him. It was also the only time I ever heard my father praise me for anything I did. I had helped him with some work earlier that day and he was pleased with how efficient I was. That pride lasted until we walked in the house. He was going to give me the house phone. He realized he had been unfair to me. It helped that Rex had talked to him as well. All was well until he discovered that I had already reclaimed it.

To say the man was furious would be the greatest understatement of all time. He was livid, with me and my mother. Even though she had no idea that I had even taken it, he felt she was still responsible for it. It soured their relationship. He never truly forgave her and he didn't like me all that much either.

He shunned her for weeks after that. She grew angrier by the minute, but she felt she deserved it. After a while, she got tired of silently fuming. She packed her bags and left for five months with no contact. She wouldn't even talk to her children, the ones she loved more than life. I know why she did it. She wanted to show him that she trusted him with our wellbeing. She might as well have been throwing a tantrum for the good it did. He wouldn't forgive her. He couldn't forget it.

I remember the horrible joke he played on her. He got some of his friends to gather around Grandpa's house and make her think they were being executed on the spot for a crime they didn't commit. He relished in her anguish, fear, and hurt expression. She was in tears as she yelled, "You bastard! I hate you!"

When she came home, she only came to get some clothes. She meant to leave immediately after. Dad grabbed her hands and begged her to stay. She tried to leave, knowing he didn't care about her. He countered it by pulling two tickets for an all-expense paid trip to Europe from his pocket. That didn't convince her. If there was one thing I knew, it was that this woman was the most obstinate person to ever walk the planet.

She turned to go out the back door, but was quickly pulled outside. He gifted her a new car, the black Toyota Avalon she had always wanted, but could never afford.

Mom beamed, before regaining her composure, "I won't be won over with material things, but thank you."

Not being one to give up or to do things without grand spectacle, he turned her around as fireworks went off. They spelled out, "Genna, I'm sorry. Please forgive me."

She looked down to find him on one knee with a bouquet of roses in his hand. She was touched, instantly forgiving him. They went on the trip that day and didn't come back for a month. Eight months later, my little brother and sister were born. I loved them. I loved them to pieces. Mom and Dad didn't fight for nine years afterwards. It was bliss. They were the glue that held us together. We were finally a stable family. I wished it had lasted.

Everything changed when Rex and I entered high school. I ran for student council president. I was one of those confident, perky, well-loved students. I was running up against the queen bee. She was ruthless, and I had no chance of winning.

My father had recently been promoted. He was so happy, he helped me write the speech that won me the position. I was so grateful. I still remember his kind eyes and though he never said it, I knew he was proud. That was the last time my father ever showed he cared about me. I think that was the last time he ever did.

Mom and Dad had their first fight in over nine years over me. I had been sneaking out to take care of things. Rex hated it, as did Dad. There was one unspoken rule that we all followed. Never touch Dad's cars. He had so many of them. We weren't allowed in them. At least, Mom and I weren't. Rex, Sarah, and Colton were his favorites. He made that painfully clear. I almost touched his keys, and he grounded me. Mom lessened my sentence and fought with Dad over it, I fought with Rex. I had been trying to work around my groundings and Rex resented me for it. We stopped talking for a while. He, being the only person that could touch Dad's keys, made me walk to school every morning.

After a month, he begged me to forgive him, which I did with no hesitation. I did many things because I loved him so much. When we arrived on campus, he acted like he hated me. I had no idea it had a purpose. He asked me to do something and as I prepared to do it, my friend Carly took my place. He assumed I didn't trust him and got mad at me. We didn't talk for months. He hated me, and I loved him.

I felt utterly abandoned. I it seemed like I had no one. I couldn't keep a boyfriend for the life of me. They all died or were incapacitated through various methods. That was partly because my father and brothers worked on a skeptical frequency and had a rather bad habit of doing background checks and holding my boyfriends at gunpoint. I suppose they were only looking out for me, though I honestly doubt they were ever concerned for my wellbeing. The men in my life didn't like me. My mother and Sarah were distant.

I fell into a depressed state. Dad and Rex ended up in the hospital because of me, Rex wanted nothing to do with me. I was a mess. It was around this time I began to resent my little brother, Colton. He was just as smart as I was. I was a certified genius and had the grades and talent to show for it. He took my parent's attention and my father's love away from me. At least, that's how I felt. I couldn't live with that. I almost succeeded in committing suicide. After a week in the hospital, I came home. As soon as I saw Rex, I ran away. They were in the car, Colton, Dad, and Rex, heading out for ice cream. They didn't try to find me. Instead, they went off and lived life. Mom and Sarah spent all day trying to find me. They succeeded and brought me home, kicking and screaming. As soon as they fell asleep, I ran away again.

When I came to my senses a few days later, I ran home and grabbed onto Rex. I held onto him for dear life and sobbed. When Mom stepped through the front door, he tased me. The prongs got stuck in my side and I had to go back to the hospital. What happened there, I never will forget.

I had entirely lost my will to live. He visited me I don't know why they let him in. I lowered my head and begged, "Will you just kill me already?"

He held a gun. I'm not sure how any of this passed the knowledge of the doctors. "Do you trust me?"

"Yes."

He put his finger on the trigger and prepared to shoot. He repeated, "Do you trust me?"

"Yes," I answered without lifting my head.

He did something-I don't know what- before asking a final time, "Do you trust me?"

"Yes."

He pulled the trigger, revealing that it was a blank. I also lost my faith in professionals that day. "How did you know?"

"I know you. I know you would never shoot me," I lied. I was honestly hoping it was real.

He shrugged. "I would've, but I ran out of bullets on the last mission."

"Will you kill me already?"

"How about you hug me instead, Dork." He held out his arms.

I hugged him as best as I could. I still wasn't too keen on living. "Are you still mad at me?"

"Extremely."

"Do you still want me to die?"

"Never said that."

"Are we still friends?"

"No. We're siblings. Best friends."

I smiled, however weak. I finally had my brother back. That was another calm before the storm came.

It was the day after Christmas My mother had given my father a negative pregnancy test. She told him it was because he said he didn't want a fifth child. He didn't want another reminder of her. He told her he had come to terms with the possibility of a fifth child, simply to trap her. He knew the truth; he just wanted to spite her. She was trapped in the worst lie of her life.

The months that followed were the worst. I realized that every day at the same time she went into her room with her phone to her ear and locked it. All at once, our world came crashing down. The drug deal she had no part in, but hid from her husband, the lie she told and had no way out of. When it finally all came to blows, it was over for them. She revealed her pregnancy and admitted the contraceptives had failed. Dad thought she had cheated on him and left the scene. He hated her so much that he no longer wanted anything to do with her. She knew it, and she hated it.

She disappeared for eleven months. When she finally came home, she had a baby boy that looked exactly like Dad on her hip. She told us she had him DNA tested. It was Dad's son. She named him Alexander Eversbree Jr., because he looked exactly like Dad. It was around that time when Dad ended up in the hospital.

He called Mom into the room and told her he no longer considered her his wife after she had lied to and kept secrets from him for four months straight. She decided to get a divorce, even though she still loved him. He made it clear he could never forgive her. Her love for him wasn't enough. He hadn't felt much for her, but she had crossed a line.

He raised Alexie, loved him more than life. He loved his children, except for me. I was too much like my mother. The woman he hated more than anything in this world. All her faults, transgressions, and failures weighed down on me. I was her scapegoat. The angel that had fallen from grace.

I couldn't take it. I left, moved in with Grandpa. My mother was nowhere to be found. She never would be. I was still close to Rex, so we talked occasionally. Dad never remarried. He couldn't put any trust in a life partner. Alexie had Sarah for support. I wasn't allowed to see him.

As I write this, I think. What could have been.? Could we have ever been happy? I believe so. In some distant world. So, I glance in the mirror. The one that watched us through it all.


End file.
